Shock no 1

Got my dsp assg marks today ..got 48/100 ...I am actually rite there at the bottom of the class. I sat befuddled throughout the entire class . I just could not come to terms with the fact that I was at the bottom of the class . Being at the top of the class acads wise has come easily to me all my life and I had quite complacently started to believe that , that was how it will stay all thru ..but then I got this shock ..i tried to look back at some instances where I had come out of situations like this but then I realised that it has never been this bad . This was a entirely new challenge to me and now it is upto me to see if i can live up to it ..

What excites me though is the fact that I have a bigger challenges to live upto every single day in this place ..when i was applying for ms ppl were like.. why do you want to go there ..lead such a hard life ..wat is the use ..you have a job a intel ..join it ..and have a nice and safe life here ..

But a nice and safe life is not wat I want ..I want to stack myself against challenges like this and put a test to myself and see if I have learnt life's principles the rite way or not ...I did not come for ms with big dreams of becoming a scientist and winning the nobel prize ...my major drive was that the work I had done during my B.tech did not satisfy me ..it was all very superficial ..i wanted to work hard on acads ...that is wat i am getting to do now..

On most of the days i will curse the amount of work load and my lack of intelligence to cope with it ..but then on some days i surely feel that the effort will be worth it in the end ...

4/10/06
realised rite now that i had skipped a problem for 15 points ..which means that i will well have been in the class avg if had done it ..:-)..but courtesy the shock i actually spend my enitre day yest studyin the subject...