Sitting in a group of people talking about women , you surely know what side I am on . I am always on the side of new age women , debating her responsibilities , her rights to freedom etc etc .
I was recently reading a book "Mother Pious Lady " which obviously warrants a new blog soon. I started thinking about what is definition of the new age women . We always find ourselves saying the NAW is the one who gets to choose what she wants in here life , she is no longer guided by what the man, in short the society thinks she should do and that is what defines her .
But if we were to closely analyse things ,is that really true ? I was just looking at all my fairer sex around me and analyzing what all of us spend the maximum time doing . The answer was right there staring at me - Shopping and looking good !!! . Beauty parlour visits , hair straightening , buying the new cute dresses in town , dieting ,gymming to get into the socially approved sizes and the list goes on . We are all pretty familiar with the sequence by now .
When we think of arranged marriage events of yester years where the girl was decked up in her best of finery for when the boy's family comes to visit her , asked to do a catwalk in front of prying eyes of the elder women of the boy's family , I am sure all of my friends "The new age women " can hear their inners churning with anger . Why are women being treated as show pieces , we the NAW will never stoop down to such levels . If a boy has to like us they should like us for what we are , the arguments are countless and never ending .
If we were to stop for a minute and look at all that we the NAW are doing the arranged marriage catwalk every day , every minute of our lives . We buy a new ( shorter!! ) dress every week , we do not allow ourselves to put on a ounce of weight , and at the end of the day all of us vie for same the approving looks from Non fair sex of the society .
USA is supposed to be the country of equal rights , men and women are equal , there is freedom of dress , speech etc . However the women have to come to regard meeting the societal standards of good looks also as one of their rights . She cannot face her partner without make up , the less is more now , showing some portion of the body is not enough , more needs to be shown each time . Even the lady who has all cures for souls in troubles , Oprah seems to offer the same mantra to women , high heels , color coded hair , tight clothes which you cannot breathe in , that is what is needed for you to find the real you .
Unfortunately I find myself getting to be a part of this race more and more everyday . I was once getting pictures taken for the so called shaadi.com and someone commented , pose delicately like a girl atleast for the picture otherwise no guy is going to marry you !!! . So is that all that is there to being a girl , posing delicately , wearing clothes that are super models have specified will be regarded as feminine , being size zero .
There is something that at a deeper levels makes us all feminine , our love , care , intuitiveness , the strength of character , our ability to place our families before ourselves . I hope our future role models can be so that we start to considerhoning these characteristics more important than
looking like some physically impossible divas.!!
Hmmm...quite a take on NAW. But I think you forgot a very important and distinguishing factor of NAW - their financial and professional independence. The % of women in today's world who are career oriented or rather have a professional life is far too much compared to yesteryears.
ReplyDeleteNow about the looking good part. I think its natural. From the very early ages the fairer sex is considered fairer for number of reasons. So its quite instinctive to every woman to feel and look beautiful. What you do to achieve this completely differs from woman to woman. But just as there are people like you who wish to defy the stereotype image of a woman, there are also men who do not want the stereotype woman. Hence there is a balance everywhere. And trust me, everyone meets their perfect match. It just takes time to realize the same :)
Madame...you talked about new age women's desire for being size zero...wearing designer clothes and beauty salon visits but what you forgot was the fact that this woman is working hard during the weekdays and achieving new heights in her career everyday.
ReplyDeleteI think there is nothing wrong in looking good, and going to the gym to maintain yourself..coz thats not just for the attention of the opposite but also makes you feel more confident.
You are right that some women are over-doing it to the extent of not being themselves but cmon, only a percentage belongs to that category. Rest of us still believe in being ourselves and our boyfriends/husbands arent shallow to make us wear make-up everyday..all the time!
Cheers to NAW...am proud of being one! :)
I agree I left out the financial independence part , but that was mostly because I did not want to bring in too many factors into the blog and just focus on one part of it .
ReplyDeleteNow about the looking good part , even animals have to look good to attract their partners , but what I am talking about is the extent of it . If you are to look around yourselves the role models and ideas being given to girls are so much about the exterior , the beauty of the interior is left for the very last and that is a troubling phenomenon.
A well written blog lady....good eshtuff....here is what came to my mind....anything overdone is bad......But, what is your reference for good?....If it is just the social stigma...it may not be convincing enough an incentive....however, if it is something you feel is good for you or something that you would want to get better at ...then you would enjoy the effort and the results...coz then you are doing it more for yourself than someone else...
ReplyDeleteAs always ...its easier said than done.....the society doesn't really give you the margin to think that way....the pressure pops out of nowhere...especially for stuff like marriages....
But you know for some reason I feel...if you be who you are...you will always find someone who would appreciate you as you...or as your potential....may not be the majority...it would be someone special !! :)) mmuah!
akhil,
ReplyDeletegood.you r thinking a little deeper into the subject.at one point you try to experiment with all the possibilities sinceyou do not know what is it that you want.all advertisements tell you that you have to have our product to make yourself more beautiful or makes you more confident as if u lack all those qualities.the inner potential makes you stand as you are and let u go ahead.confidence is to accept yourself and be contented.this brings you more happiness.this thinking will definitely take you a long way in your life.
amma.
Well, your sample space where you have made this observation is very narrow. You have only looked at people around you. You badly need a visit to India to change your perception !! As said above by everyone, NAW is financially contributing to the family (I dont like the word independent, sounds too egoistic). What is important is NAW is not confined to the kitchen and has a say in all matters of her life.
ReplyDeleteAnd about looking good, all women do that naturally. Even the ones in villages. All women inherently have a desire to look good.
Get some broader perspective !!
Once again , I am no way trying to reduce the importance of NAW having a bigger say with their lives . All i am trying to concentrate here is on how the definition of beauty is being changed . To be very specific why has more skin show , ultra slim figures and perfectly straight hair become the standard of beauty these days . This holds both for India and the US . The more I look at it the more it seems to me that each generation has a certain way of defining beauty and that becomes the socially accepted standards of that time but how do we actually come to derive that defintion , what are the factors that drive it ???
ReplyDelete